Saturday, March 25, 2006

The Score

"Quit keeping score altogether and surrender yourself with all your sinfulness to God who sees neither the score nor the scorekeeper but only His child redeemed by Christ" -Thomas Merton

Even after numerous sermons on grace, Thomas Merton's words pierced my heart with new revelation. It is so easy for me to see God as a the scorekeeper. I imagine Him shaking His head in disappointment everytime I fail.

"Phil, Phil, Phil. When are you going to learn?" He must say to Himself.

I have disappointed Him again. Knowing this, I look for some way to even the score. Some kind of peace offering. All those sermons on grace has taught me that Jesus isn't holding God back from striking me down with lightning every time I sin. But I still think I need to appease Him.

Then come Merton's words with the new perspective. I can't help but cry when I realize it isn't God who's keeping score, but me. He sees me as the His child, the one that Jesus died to save.

Father God,
I am so glad that You love me more than I can imagine. I know if You loved me the way I imagined You did, I would be lost. Please continue to break down my misconceptions of You, showing me who You really are. Fill me with Your love. Fill me so full I can't contain it, so it spills onto everyone I meet.
Amen.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen and a million Amens. I used to imagine Him scowling and growling at my misdeeds. Then I graduated to a hands-on-His-divine hips scenario, but still scowling. Then I arrived at the thought that He shook his head and sighed. EVENTUALLY, it got through my thick head that He merely smiles and thinks how much He loves me and knows I am frail, made of dust and . . . that I am His redeemed child, bought by the price of the cross by His Son. And that's how He sees me. I am forever grateful.
Lynniegirl

Sandy Cathcart said...

Ephesians is what I always go back to. That God knew me before the foundation of the world . . . knew every mistake I would make, every hurt I would cause . . . and still allowed me to be born, and even chose me to be His child! Wow!

He knows our frame, that we are made of dust. How can we disappoint Someone who knows us so well?

You are His dear son. I am His dear daughter. Wow! Amazing grace.

Thanks for the great words, Phil. I love your deep thoughts so simply expressed.

Anonymous said...

I new a man named Phillip Lemons from a small town in West Texas. His name came to me in a morning devotional today. I was there with him during some pretty rough times. Would you be this man? I remember that little VW van you used to drive. We also have a mutual friend "wild Bill" who still lives there. I have since moved from this town. If you are this man, my prayers have been answered. If not please accept my apologies. He was a good friend but we lost touch and I was trying to find him.

Blessins' on ya',
---Mike